Review

The expectant, ravenous multitude of seaside visitors to Brighton must assume this is a Fish and Chips emporium, specialising in fried squid and starfish, due to its gory redness and cheap looking sign. Being located on the edge of The Lanes, and opposite the excellent Casablanca nightclub, the Squid & Starfish is a definite pre-club pub - exceptionally busy at weekends. The upstairs bar is rarely big enough to cope with demand and usually 4 or 5 people deep. If your only view of the upstairs bar is the nauseating 1970s light hanging above it, across the heads of Brighton’s beautiful women and lagered-casual-blokes, you can take the tubular stairs down into the cellar where there’s a bigger bar and thick shagpile carpet, into which you can sink with every step.

Like a scene from Futurama, one expects there to be a squid and a starfish standing at the bar, necking a beer or two, but sadly the only concession to the pub’s name are the squid-shaped poufs in evidence at most of the tables. The upstairs room appears massive due to the large bay windows, one of which has a bench entirely covered in a large cushion, which gives a mattress appearance and looks like a dosser’s bed.

Doorman are a ever-present feature of the Squid & Starfish, and one hopes it’s to prevent access to anybody who’s staying in the hostel next door! With a pukey mustard and purple façade, Brighton Backpackers (‘England's funkiest independent hostel’) is at 75/76 Middle Street, so one can only hope the bouncers will prohibit anybody from entering with a fridge-freezer strapped to their back. If only London Underground was as strict!

Sadly lacking nowadays are the huge ‘rock star’ paintings that used to hang in the Squid & Starfish, paintings similar to the work of Julian Opie, who’s the man behind the artwork for Blur’s Best of Blur and various St Etienne sleeves, amongst others. The art nowadays is of the 1960s variety, with bikini-clad women on canvass nestling happily alongside the mirrorballs.

Review by mr_psm