Review

The Barracuda Bar is large bar on several levels, with a second bar at the rear and a small mezzanine floor. The corrugated steel ceiling and vast air-conditioning ducting gives credence to the bar's aircraft-hanger-like appearance. The fridges behind the lengthy bar almost reach to the ceiling and are too tall for any of the staff to reach the upper shelves. Above the fridges are eight TV screens embedded in the wall, eight of the bar's twenty-three screens. The ceiling and walls are covered in spotlights and speakers, and the DJ's spins the tunes from his booth at the rear of the bar.

There's no shortage of seating in The Barracuda Bar: tall tables, short tables, booths, benches, shoe-shine seats, tables and chairs, stools and sofas are available to meet your seated needs. At the side of the pub are several massive windows - really massive - that look out over School Lane.

The Barracuda Bar seems to have stolen the catchphrase from '70s kid's TV program Why Don't You? for it's advertisements: Why Don't You Just Switch Off Your Television Set And Go Out And Do Something Less Boring Instead? A selection of newspaper sandwich boards hang on the wall throughout the bar, and the headline on each tells of a promotion or event at The Barracuda Bar. Between 7pm and 2am on Tuesday nights all drinks are £1 in The Barracuda Bar.

A barracuda is a big, vicious fish that averages about 2m in length and has two sets of razor-sharp teeth for slicing up its victims. Not the ideal name for a bar in the centre of Liverpool. Barracudas aren't even found in the River Mersey, preferring life in subtropical seas to dodging tampons and shopping-trolleys in the Mersey's brown sludge. The only trace of a barracuda in The Barracuda Bar is a big fish hanging on the wall over an equally big mirror. When this bar was called The Old Monk there wasn't a barracuda on the wall, nor was there an old monk. Below the barracuda and large mirrors are a selection of quotes painted on the wall, one of which is said to be a quote by Brian Johnson; however, these are cricket quotes and I'm not aware the Geordie AC/DC vocalist was a spokesman for cricket - leather balls, perhaps!

The walls outside the toilets on the mezzanine floor are covered in Argentinean football memorabilia, which is weird for a City with such a strong football heritage of its own. Equally as baffling are the football photographs in the bar that show South Africa's national team in action. The football theme continues with a Subbuteo fruit machine, but where are all the Liverpool FC, Everton FC and Tranmere Rovers FC pictures?

At the rear of the pub is a large painting on the wall that advertises Cabo Wabo tequila. Cabo Wabo tequila was created by American rocker, and one-time Van Halen vocalist, Sammy Hagar; however, Van Halen's mega-selling Why Can't This Be Love is absent from the music videos on the TVs. Britney Spears is the artiste of choice on The Barracuda's TV and she keeps insisting people smack her once again! People who insist Britney Spears is a sex symbol must never have visited Liverpool, as scouse women are stunning in a Britney Spears way. It must be said, however, that there are also more than a few mingers.

Review by mr_psm