Review

Situated opposite the Royal Naval Collage on the corner of King William Walk and one of the pedestrian walkways into Greenwich Market, The Cricketers is a small pub that could easily be overlooked when passing by. If either of the two doors into the pub isn't open there's no chance of seeing inside; from inside it's impossible to see outside, as the stained glass windows, which are high on the walls, also wear Venetian blinds.

A notice on the door requests patrons wear a 'smart casual dress only', which suggests The Crickets is the meeting-place for Greenwich's underwear-lacking transvestites. Also forbidden are soiled footwear and work clothes. How many people in suits pass-by without stopping for a beer because they're in their 'work clothes'?

In accordance with the pub's name there is a wide range of cricket memorabilia - autographed bats and suchlike - intermingled with a selection of grubby baskets and jugs hanging from the walls and ceiling. There is an antique child's pram hanging from the ceiling, its cricketing connection a mystery. The bar is decked with greenery and resembles a Taverna, and the international theme continues with 5 clocks along its fascia telling the time around the world: London, Honolulu, New York, Sydney and Dublin (all great cricketing nations?).

Some pubs have enormous Jenga games and others have enormous Connect 4; The Cricketers has 'normal' Connect 4 that stands upright in a large wooden plinth.

The fake Elizabethan walls and brick fireplace complement the tatty seats and benches that are covered in an awful, weaved material, and the plastered walls have cracks and large chunks missing - these are genuine holes, not the pseudo ones that trendy pubs incorporate as part of their redecoration. The toilets are hideous, with a clammy, damp atmosphere, radiator that's rusted beyond recognition and an incessant 'beeping' emanating from behind a wall somewhere.

Review by mr_psm