Review

Lloyds No.1 pubs are essentially a JD Wetherspoon pub with music, videos, a different menu, less cheap drinks and offers, and an obvious attempt to seduce a young and trendy clientele through the doors, rather than the older alcoholics that are the mainstay of traditional Wetherspoon outlets. Hence The Ice Wharf, a few steps along Regents Canal off Camden High Street, is an amalgamation of drunks, families, hip dudes and fit chicks; what is conspicuous by its absence is any presence of Camden's 'alternative crowd'.

A large spacious pub, with a good-sized family/no-smoking area, and plenty of opportunities to find a seat. There's an outside area, with plenty of large umbrellas to protect against the pigeon bombardment in this uninspiring exterior location. The drinks are much cheaper than nearby hostelries and the food is to the usual Wetherspoon standard. But there is one downside, one definite aspect to a pub that is certain to give people second-thoughts about drinking there: the presence of somebody in the toilets trying to sell perfume!

This is the most annoying thing a pub can have, as when trying to wash your hands, you're accosted by somebody trying to sell you free hand towels and squirt soap into your hands. Go away, for fuck's sake! If I were having a shit would you barge in and try to wipe my arse or sell me the toilet tissue? GET RID OFF THESE ANNOYING BASTARDS, JD WETHERSPOON!

The Ice Wharf! Why should a new canal side development in central Camden get such a name, when the only discernable traces of nearby ice is what's sold by the drug dealers milling about outside? Ice is the commonly used name for the translucent crystal, smokable form of methamphetamine, which provides the user with increased alertness, euphoria, appetite loss, dilated pupils, elevated heart rate, increased respiration, and elevated body temperature. I get all these symptoms just from visiting Camden!

Sadly, there are no methamphetamine connotations in the pubs name, but an historic reference to a time before refrigeration, when famous Ice Cream manufacturer Carlo Gatti imported Norwegian natural ice into London, and used the Regents Canal to transport the ice to his Ice Wells near Kings Cross. The Canal Museum Trust now owns the building and ice wells, which are open to the public at 12-13 New Wharf Road.

There are lots of women in The Ice Wharf, and did you know that ice cream used to be known as 'Hokey Pokey', a derivative of the Italian for 'try a little'? In the 1920s Walls invented the slogan "Stop Me and Buy One", the bastardisation of which can be seen vandalised on condom machines across the land - "Buy Me and Stop One"!

JD Wetherspoon have gone overboard in giving The Ice Wharf an icy feel, by covering an entire wall with a polar scene. It is such a dire attempt at a 'theme', however, that it's embarrassingly poor and should be removed immediately!

As with all JD Wetherspoon and Lloyds No.1 bars, this is a clean, cheap and welcoming pub, where the drinks and food are varied and enjoyable. I would, however, go outside, piss in the canal, and wash your hands in the contaminated water, as it's much less hassle than using the toilets in the pub.

Review by mr_psm