Review

Tired of Hoxton? Tired of Shoreditch? Tired of gentrification? Fancy a spit'n'sawdust hostelry, an escape from the trendy wine-bars that are breeding at an alarming rate? Perhaps the Barley Mow is for you!

Farmer Barleymow was one of Bod's cronies in the 1970s childrens' TV programme, although it's unclear if this is his eponymous pub. What is clear, however, is that despite this pub's diminutive size, it aspires to be much bigger; ¼ of the entire pub is dedicated to the DJ's booth (which gives a clue to its size); there is a 8-9 inch diameter mirrorball hanging centrally in the pub, although quite where the dancefloor hides is a mystery; the tiny bar is staffed by a larger-than-life barman; there are several net of lights, more lights than in the entire pub.

Written above the bar is "Love not war" in eight languages, which is an incongruous statement for a pub where there's a Pit Bull Terrier shredding a beer mat in the bar! "Beer not water" would be more suitable for a pub, or "Boozers not wankers" would be apt for Hoxton. There are steps to make the Barley Mow trendier, with a lack of the usual ubiquitous beers in favour of brews from the Czech Republic - Pivovar Litovel being the beer on-tap. 'Czech' these prices: Czech beer is £2.60 a pint in the Barley Mow and 18p a pint in Prague! It's interesting and welcoming to see that take-aways are available; not Chinese food, but beer: 24 x 330ml Litovels are available for £15.

There are plenty of tables outside for weekend afternoon drinking in the sun, and this part of London is so dead that the tables have spread from outside the pub to the opposite corner, on the other side of the road. This is either a ploy to get more people drinking in the pub than can physically fit inside the bar, an attempt to make full use of gorgeous sunny afternoons, or an excuse for the Hoxton elite to drink here whilst distancing themselves from such an obvious 'old geezers' alehouse.

Some poor, unfortunate drinker obviously had an 'L' of a sore head after drinking outside the Barley Mow, as from Curtain Road the pub appears to be called Bar Ey Mow! Whether the person crowned with the 'L' cried out "Bar Ey Mow" in pain as cranium and letter connected is unclear, although I suspect "Fuc ing Hell" was a more likely bellow!

An attempt at acquiring some class is discernable on the toilet doors. The womens' toilet door is labelled 'Fem', perhaps in homage to the French word Femme, although the pub has decided to stay-clear of an abridged version of the French word for Men on the gents: rather than saying 'Hom' on the Gents' loos, 'Butch' is chosen instead, although whether this is the name of the canine currently eating its way through the bar or an ironic attempt at manliness is uncertain.

This is a typical wooden floored, deep-rooted boozer in an atypical area; ideal for a proper beer, a pint, in an area where bottled beers are de-rigeur - a breath of fresh air. This pub is so 'classic' that there are no TVs and no big-screen sport; entertainment is provided in the form of a radio.

Review by mr_psm